Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
