my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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