i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
