i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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