she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
