Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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