I only kidnapped one of them. chill
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
