So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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