So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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