he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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