Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
