Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
