she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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