All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
