apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
