I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We got so high we made milksteak
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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