thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
