that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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