So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
