Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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