You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
