I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
