I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
