Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize