i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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