i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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