I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
