break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
