she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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