question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
