just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
