Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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