ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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