Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
