dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
