I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
