and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
please come you make the beer taste better
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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