This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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