oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
