like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
