Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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