So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
