Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
