You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
