i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
