You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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