I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
