After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
