so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
