I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
