I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
