This girl is more easily done than said...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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